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Paw prints left by my Vodkaa

While I was away in the biting cold of crisp London, in full celebration mode, I got a call from home, in the middle of the night, that Vodkaa was not well and that they were admitting him to a hospital. The next morning, at about 6.30 am London time, my husband and I were woken up to the news that Vodkaa was no more. I didn’t know how to react, I was in total shock. As tears rolled down my cheeks, choking with emotion, I broke the news to everyone who was with me.

I think I was in denial, I just couldn’t come to terms with it. He was fine when I left him—he didn’t even have a cold! I needed answers…I was in a state of total panic…I made over a 100 calls. It was then that we decided that we didn’t want to do a post-mortem and cut up my small baby. No one could give me the strength I was looking for.

My mind was reeling. What went wrong? Maybe I could have saved him. He was probably waiting for me, his eyes must have been looking for me. I could have comforted him. He was always fine when he was with me. But this time… I wasn’t there. I will always have unanswered questions.

Two days later, we came back to India and went straight to the hospital. I needed answers, I needed closure, I needed to understand what and how this happened.

After meeting four or five doctors and running from pillar to post with his death certificate and photo to show the doctors (they couldn’t even remember him), we were told that he was admitted in a grave condition. He probably had a respiratory attack and then a heart attack, which finally took his life. All of it sounded insane to me. Still looking for the answers I was never going to get, we left the hospital in silence. I guess God has his ways, ways we will never understand.

The pleasure and unconditional love a pet can give you is immeasurable. And the void they leave at their loss can never be filled. The silence is deafening.

I decided that I need to get Oreo a brother, not to replace Vodkaa, but just to keep him going.

Even as I write this post, all I can say is that his paw prints will always be felt by me. I will forever feel the pain of his loss…

It will take time for me to heal and for the silence to go away…

I will miss him every day…

He was my family member, my friend…

A loving soul I’ll never forget…

He was constant, loyal and true…

And my heart will always wear

The paw prints left by him

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